Wednesday, March 31, 2010

life's not about what you want.

it's about what you get.

and that's how to explain everything that happens to each and everyone of us.
suckers in this world.

i've never felt this kind of disappointment before.
but in a way it's good.
'cause i will ensure that my kids (if i ever have any.. *rolling eyes repeatedly*)
and/or my god-kids (a more likely situation)
will NEVER EVER experience such a feeling.

it's one thing that parents are disappointed with their kids.
what about the other way around?
i thought i was fine..
i mean, when i spoke to my parents in kl,
i sincerely thought i am past being angry at them,
and that i am able to accept the fact that i'm not a rich kid.
i can't live the life that i want,
so i have to deal with it..

but when Boston University writes to say:
"Congratulations! On behalf of the Board of Admissions, I am delighted to welcome you to Boston University and the Class of 2014."
how should you think?
how should you feel?
what should you do?

what was supposed to be pure joy, elation and excitement,
became disappointment and regret when you're brought back into reality.
this is the time when i totally doubt my parents' parenting skills.

think about it:
the higher the expectation,
the greater the disappointment.

i was told: do your best. if you can make it, i will ensure you get in.
HA!
i made it, but i don't see myself getting in.
i am so near, yet so far.

telling me in the future you'll be this and that does not work in the present.
next year will always be next year,
just like how tomorrow will always be tomorrow.
IT NEVER COMES.

so parents and future parents (if anyone is reading this),
please be truthful to your kids.
empty promises only make them angry, disappointed, and unable to trust you.
if you can't deliver, don't say you can.
here's some parenting advice: when you're with kids, DON'T TAKE RISKS.

and people ask me why i'm dead-set against having kids.
children model their parents.
i so do not want to be my parents right now.

peace.

then spidey crashed into my room so i had to stop and see if he's ok at 3/31/2010 12:05:00 AM